Conversations with Sockbaby

New Animals Are Always Tricky

TinyDog: PLAYTIEM! *bouncebouncebounce*
Girl: Aww, who's a playful puppy?
Sockbaby: grumblegrumblegrumble
TinyDog: WE SHOULD PLAY BECAUSE ITS PLAYTIEM *bounce*
Sockbaby: No.
TinyDog: BouncyBouncyBouncyBouncy!
Sockbaby: PISS OFF
TinyDog: GAH!
Sockbaby: That's what I thought. Punkass.
TinyDog: Um... PLAYTIEM?!?!?!
Sockbaby: I WILL FUCKING END YOU
TinyDog: ....
TinyDog: Playtiem?
Sockbaby: WHICH PART OF "I WILL END YOU" DID YOU FAIL TO UNDERSTAND! DO YOU THINK I'M KIDDING? LOOK AT MY DAMN TEETH!
TinyDog: ok... playtiem over on this side of the couch, then.
Guy: What the hell, sockster? You usually love everyone.
Sockbaby: I love cats, and people, and maybe cousin dog *sometimes*. I have no idea what RatSpazz over here is supposed to be.
TinyDog: oh no I have a case of the JUMPING WIGGLES *poingpoingpoing*
Sockbaby: all of you suck forever.

The Struggle Continues

Sockbaby: I am in distress!
Littlecat: I shall spring to the rescue!
Sockbaby: I am in serious distress!
Girl: Ok, buddy, what's wrong?
Sockbaby: You kept going outside, now I want outside.
Girl: No way, man.
Sockbaby: But! But! It looks so nice outside!
Girl: Not until we get you a leash, big guy. Because our amusement comes first.
Sockbaby: Please!?!
Littlecat: Pft. Drama queen!

Born Free(ish)

Sockbaby: Fair maiden! Adventure awaits!
Girl: What are you warbling about by the back door?
Sockbaby: There are dragons to slay! Kingdoms to conquer!
Girl: I'm not letting you outside. You are an indoor kitty.
Sockbaby: I am a knight that must explore the Seven Kingdoms!
Girl: Oh, you mean crawl under the house and get dirty again? No.
Sockbaby: Help! I'm being oppressed!
Girl: Deal with it. It's freezing out and you'd want back in immediately.
Sockbaby: I must plan my escape! *flee*
Girl: Crackhead cat.

Sockbaby ran and hid under the house, which is filthy.

Adventures have consequences.

The Humans Text

STFUPenguins: When are you unleashing [ShortAG] on social media 
SomeAuthorGirl: Not for years, bro 
SomeAuthorGirl: You don't violate terms of service in this house whilst underage. 
STFUPenguins: Well done. 
STFUPenguins: While I was out, one of the cats punched up an FB convo about cats. From over a year ago. 
STFUPenguins: I guess my house DOES do TOS violations 
SomeAuthorGirl: Well. How old are the cats? 
STFUPenguins: 6 years and 9 months, respectively 
SomeAuthorGirl: Well. One of them isn't violating TOSS. 
STFUPenguins: At 6? 
SomeAuthorGirl: Cat years yo 
SomeAuthorGirl: That cat is grown son 
STFUPenguins: That's a measure of lifespan. A 6 year old boy with progeria who shits in a box and enjoys stomping on yarbles is still not legally qualified. I'd argue less so 
STFUPenguins: Don't get me wrong, he's a good cat, but I'm not signing any loans for him 
STFUPenguins: He'd take all of that money and spend it on rubs

Littlecat loves the carrier.

Sockbaby? Not so much.

They really love that couch.

belleh rubs

Littlecat is a bit of a punkass

Littlecat in a tent