I LOVE THIS GUY!
Love is Messy
Guy: Hey buddy.
Sockbaby: OH MY GOD I MISSED YOU
Guy: Awww, I missed you too, Sockula.
Sockbaby: KITTY HUGS!
Guy: awww kitty hugs.
Sockbaby: KITTY HUGS!
Guy: You are such a snuggly boy!
Sockbaby: I LOVE YOU!
Guy: Um, you're getting a bit drooly there.
Sockbaby: YOU ARE THE BEST HUMAN EVAR!
Guy: Ok, you need to stop this now.
Sockbaby: I NEVER WANT TO QUIT YOU
Guy: Seriously, you're like a saint bernard now. I need you to settle down.
Sockbaby: HEADBUTTS! ALL THE HEADBUTTS!
Guy: Oh fer fuck's sake.
Sockbaby: YOUR BEARD IS AWESOME!
Guy: EUGH thanks for soaking it in drool, cat.
Sockbaby: IT IS MY GIFT TO YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!
Guy: That's nice. I'm going to go shampoo my face for the next year or so
Sockbaby: AGH DON'T GO I LOVE YOU
Guy: Cat, something is terribly wrong with you...
Sockbaby: I LIKE YOU!
Girl: Ow!
Sockbaby: I LIKE YOU!
Girl: Cat, you’re heavy!
Sockbaby: I LIKE YOU!
Girl: You hurt!
Sockbaby: I LIKE YOU!
Girl: Why, god! WHY?!
Sockbaby: I LIKE YOU!
Girl: I can’t feel my legs!
Sockbaby: I LIKE YOU!
Girl: OW!
Sockbaby: RUBS?
Girl: *muffled* Sure.
He Might Be Wearing Her Down
Othercat: Lap?
Guy: Um. About that...
Othercat: Can I have Lap? And Rubs?
Guy: Yes...ish? Listen, Sockbaby's right next to me, and since you want to kill him it may be a good ide...
Othercat: Don't Care! Want Rubs! *hop*
Guy: Ok, here, have some ear rubs.
Othercat: You're the best thing I ever owned...
Sockbaby: Huh. Your butt has a smell. This merits sniffage!
Othercat: Um.... I don't like this.... KTHXBAI *bolt*
Sockbaby: Aww... It had a smell!
Guy: Be thankful. I have no idea how she didn't just claw you to shreds.
Sockbaby: Her butt totally had a smell, though.
Guy: I'm sure it did, Sockula.
Sockbaby: Srsly.
Pavlov's Piglet
Sockbaby: You are doing something familiar.
Girl: Oh crap.
Sockbaby: You are opening a can. Does this mean noms?
Girl: No. These are mandarin oranges for a salad.
Sockbaby: Are you sure?
Girl: Very sure.
Sockbaby: Can opening *always* means noms!
Girl: No, not always. You wish it always meant noms.
Sockbaby: But...but...noms?
Girl: No!
Sockbaby: Please?
Girl: No!
Sockbaby: Aw c'mon. I'll even try what's in the can.
Girl: No, you'd hate it.
Sockbaby: Pretty please?
Girl: NO!
Sockbaby: Aw man, c'mon. Just a little...
Girl: No!
.......
Sockbaby: Rubs?
Girl: *sigh*
Meanwhile, in the Default World...
Sockbaby: WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN
Guy: Aw. I missed you too, Sockbucket
Sockbaby: THE GIRL YOU LEFT TO DISTRACT ME SAID YOU WERE OUT BURNING PEOPLE WHAT THE HELL MAN
Guy: Sockbaby, we talked about this. I went to Burning Man.
Sockbaby: SHUT UP AND DELIVER MY RUBS YOU MURDEROUS PYROMANIAC SHIT
